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    Tuesday, February 04, 2003

    Let me introduce the concept of the Pointing Device.

    Contemplate this. (*Glissing harp sounds*)

    Think of the buttons in an elevator. The button on the parking ticket dispenser at the entrance of parking lots that say "Push Here For Ticket". The rubbery rail you put your hand on while you ride up or down the escalator. Door knobs or door handles at high traffic areas, especially public restrooms.

    These are public contact points. Consider this for a moment: If we scan public areas with a Germ-O-Meter 3000™, we will find the highest concentration of bacteria, dirt, muck, and other gross crap at these public contact points. Thousands of people from all walks of life, touching everything from their food to their ass have touched these areas. Some dirty pervert may have just scratched his balls and picked his nose at the same time when he thought no one was looking and then pressed the button on the elevator. Yes, it happens!

    And no one cleans these public contact points. When was the last time you see someone Lysol the buttons on an elevator?

    To put it in a more scholarly way, it’s icky!

    Your pointing device could be anything that’s available. You could use the tip of a key. Or the pointed end of whatever you are carrying. Better yet, use somebody’s finger. The point here is to not use yours.

    I don’t think this is excessive compulsive behaviour. I am not suggesting that we walk around wearing rubber gloves (although that would not be such a bad idea if everybody else wore it for me.) This is an issue of personal and public hygiene. So, the next time you lay your fingers down to key in your PIN at an ATM, take a moment to muse over the fact that the previous ATM user may have masturbated with the very same hand and fingers used to get the ATM to take out some cash. In some remote cosmic way, it may have been you who gave him that handjob.

    Use a pointing device. Accept no substitutes.

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