Woman: Do you know what’s worse than Chinese new year music?
Man: The techno remix of Chinese new year music.
Man & Woman: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Woman: You are funny.
Man: I know.
I have food in the fridge.
That’s a rare statement coming from me. In about two weeks, I will say “I have to clean out my fridge and throw out the expired crap I bought two weeks ago.”
I went grocery shopping at Carrefour today. Granted, most of the food products I bought are of the “bomb shelter” variety; that is food that are either canned, highly preserved by cancer-causing agents, or both. I did get some vegetation, juice, and the some bite-sized remains of a slaughtered cow.
It was a fairly pleasant experience this time. It wasn’t as crowded as it usually is. The roads have been pretty clear as well. I noticed a lot of things on the shelves that I did not notice before. Given my allergy to high concentration of Chinese-speaking people, (by this I mean, other people’s aunties and uncles who would go for seconds at the free food sample counter), I usually breeze in and out of the place.
Quite an eye-opener for me as I took my time to comb each aisle. The first thing I noticed is how hot some moms look these days. It’s amazing that they can shoot out a couple of kids and still have the body a porn queen. You can quite easily spot these Greek Goddesses because they are the ones with the dorky-looking husbands. (Good looking men don’t do grocery shopping.)
I also noticed how instant noodles at Carrefour are categorised by flavour and not by brand. How there is an expiration date on bottled water. What happens after the expiration date? How the aisle for animal food is sandwiched by the aisles for rice products and beverages. Heaven forbid should grandma bring home a bag of dog chow thinking it’s a bag of rice. Good rice is expensive. We get the small tomatoes on our shelves. I am sure Singapore gets all our good stuff. How some Malaysians still call it “salad” when it is “lettuce”. Don’t get me started on the “long pant” vs. “long pants”.
I also have a question: What’s the difference between regular garlic and smoked garlic?
The techno remixes of Chinese new year music was really getting to me. Why do they do that? Is Carrefour trying to get their customers out of the place? Why can’t they just play regular Chinese new year music that we have all learned to love over the years?