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    Friday, March 14, 2003

    An Interview With A God: Part 2

    Me: Let’s get back to what’s going on in the world today. What are your thoughts?
    God: Before I begin, let me say a few words about the state of your public restrooms in Malaysia. Why are the floors wet all the damn time?
    Me: Uuhhh...good one. I thought you were all knowing.
    God: I am.
    Me: Yeah. But I guess some people do not think toilet paper is good enough for them. God: Well, get them to kiss my ass.
    Me: Anyway, back to your thoughts on the world today.
    God: Yes. It will be partly cloudy with scattered showers in the coastal areas. Temperature will range from 75 – 89 degrees Fahrenheit. Expect a cold front from the east to sweep across the midlands later in the day.
    Me: I didn’t ask about the weather. I am asking about the state of the world today. How did it get like this? Why aren’t you doing anything to make things better?
    God: Yes. Good question. It’s all part of the secret master plan.
    Me: What secret master plan?
    God: It’s a secret. If I told you, it won’t be a secret master plan anymore. It would just be master plan sans secret. You are a putz.
    Me: Thanks. I will make T-shirts that say that. Well, I can see that this interview is a major bust. You are not making any sense.
    God: That’s OK. The point that I want to drive home today is that we should keep public restrooms dry. And again, the meaning of life is to not piss me off. Other than that, go nuts.
    Me: Are you sure you are a God?
    God: Yes. It’s says that on my name tag.
    Me: Whatever you say.
    God: Yes. I am taking questions from your fellow readers. So, get them to post their questions and I will answer them. I am, after all, a God.
    Me: Can you make me taller?
    God: No.
    Me: Darn.
    God: You are already beautiful as is. Just kidding.

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