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    Wednesday, September 17, 2003

    You have certain social responsibilities when you drive.

    One, when you are first at the traffic lights, you have the responsibility to quickly engage into gear and move the fuck on. In fact, given that you are at that privileged spot, you should NOT be in neutral but instead be in gear for immediate take off. Yes! There is nothing more annoying than that one person who takes her time getting into gear and then slowing moving off. MOVE BI-ATCH! THERE ARE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU!

    Second, when you are at a high-density and high-turnover active parking area, and you want to leave, you must quickly get into your car and get the fuck out of your spot so others can park there. You may be holding back traffic because the person who wants your spot is waiting and holding up cars behind him. So, use common sense. Also, don't be going into the car and then decide its time to adjust your rear-view mirror, or to put on more lipstick. Do that when you're driving. Just get your ass into the car and drive off.

    Finally, if you see my car, make way. Stay the hell away from me and give me room. I need my space.

    Please!
    Let me tell you about my weekend.

    I finally got my furniture together. I learned two things. Rather, I was reminded of two things. I bought furniture from IKEA. I think IKEA is Swedish for "assembly required." And this one required the use of a hammer. I hammered my finger. The first thing I noticed was that it hurt like hell. Second, all that lifting of furniture caused my entire body to ache. I am old. My thigh muscles hurt. My butt bone hurts too. The good news is, there MAY be more definition in my thigh and butt muscles. So I hope.

    That was Saturday.

    Sunday saw the dawn of my still on-going heart attack. I finally moved my production data to my new PC which I bought on Sept 10. The damn thing doesn't work properly. I did manage to get some things together in time for a recording session on Monday. But generally, things were not working the way it should. I think it has something to do with the wireless network card.

    I just realised how incredibly boring this blog is. To cut to the chase, I am now sitting at a cybercafe at Low Yat Plaza waiting for my PC to be fixed. And it's Thursday. This is one of those rare moments where I'd rather have an elephant's penis up my butt than to deal with PC problems. And if you know me, you'd know what an anti-fan I am of taking it up the butt. But here is an exception.

    Wednesday, September 10, 2003

    I am a dentist or if I am feeling sexy, I work at IKEA as the guy who names the furniture. Bovil the chair. Penus the work desk. Or Lesbo the rug. It's not too unbelievable. I've become so good at this that I can actually say "Humpen the sauce pan" with a straight face.
    I am so tired.
    Generally, two things motivate me to change my behaviour: Someone whom I care about or want to impress OR extreme pain. I suspect this is the same for most people. However, this past few days, I went ahead and did some things without either one of these behaviour-changing catalysts.

    I am finally going to do something about my living room. I've lived in my apartment for over three years now. The only areas which are lived in are the bedroom, bathroom, and my work area. occasionally when I get a wild hair up my butt, I'd used the kitchen. ("Using the kitchen" means eating toast over the sink because I am too lazy to use anything which I will have to wash and clean later!) In other words, the living room is anything but living. I've been using it to study the long term effects of dust particles on floor tiles.

    I went on out and actually bought furniture. At last! My once baron living room will actually look functional. Come this weekend, I will put on my Martha Stewart cap on and attempt to make my place look habitable. For now, the living room looks like a warehouse with boxes of furniture all over the place. Why not do it now, you may ask? Well, because there is a damn hole in the ceiling. Long story.

    I also got me a new computer for "work" today. Another shocker for me. I've been planning this for months and finally did it today. I've been doing all my heavy-duty production work on an Intel Celeron 600MHz. It's almost embarrassing (yet cool at the same time, no?) People have faster computers to play solitaire. Not only did I get a new PC, I got a wireless access point too. Which means, I've upgraded myself from "geek" to "uber-geek" by having a wireless network at home. Finally, I can live my life-long dream of being able to surf the web while sitting on the crapper. Bliss!

    Very soon, I will have a living room that looks like an IKEA showroom and a wi-fi network. I will be able to watch the stuff I've downloaded on TV in the living room. And I will have this really cool shelf thing I got from IKEA to hold my whopping 14-inch TV. (Dang...I knew I forgot something!)

    Speaking of which, I got a little gift from IKEA today. I bought this modular storage system which you can mix-and-match to get your own entertainment unit of sorts. I ended up with seven pieces of furniture. However, the cashier did not charge me for one of the pieces! Saved me RM480! Being the responsible customer I am, I am going back there tomorrow after my workout at the gym to pay for this piece of furniture.

    Finally, the biggest shocker that takes the cake is that my fellow recording engineer and I have decided that we are going to buy this original piece of software. Imagine that! What is this world coming to? Yes folks. I will be paying more than RM5 for a piece of software.

    So, in review, I think I am going through some kind of pre-midlife crisis. I feel like it's almost a preview to more desperate times ahead. Somehow I feel better. Amazingly, I still have no life. But at least I will have a living room.