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    Wednesday, March 10, 2004

    Mystery Of The Universe

    Today, two guys are working on the balcony of my apartment. After years of neglect, I've decided to re-tile the whole mother because... well...because the old tiles have never been cleaned and after four years, they are really gross.

    Never mind the gross tiles. What freaks me out the most when people come to my place is when they use the restrooms. I have a dry restroom. The only "wet area" is the shower stall, which is enclosed.

    What I want to know is, why, pray tell, WHY, is it that when these people pee, they leave pubic hair on the toilet seat? WHY?

    Lo and behold. There was one today. Only one word comes to mind: FUCK!

    Even as a straight guy, I think this is the one most disgusting and annoying "thing" in the world, followed by peeing on the toilet seat itself.

    What are these fuckers doing while they are taking a piss?

    "Let me scratch myself and see how many of my pubes I can yank out."

    "Oops. Missed!"

    And this is not the sort of thing you can tell people NOT to do.

    I wouldn't even know how to bring it up in Cantonese. And if I did, and they did shed, they probably just whiz it off the toilet seat and get it on the floor. And then two weeks later, I'd pick it up with my bare hands thinking it was mine.

    "Please don't leave your pubic hair on my toilet".

    Quick. Translate that for me!

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