Under circumstances beyond my control, I went to Zouk in Kuala Lumpur. Yet another interesting experience for me when witnessing the fine specimen of Malaysian society.
Maybe I am getting old. But the only thing louder than the ear-bleedingly loud music is the laughter I hear in my head. Laughter from the owners of Zouk, sitting in their quiet homes somewhere laughing their asses off that there are these dumb people paying money to yell at each other in the name of conversation.
But tonight, several things were made clear to me.
For starters, people go such clubs to have a good time. And by "good times," it means having that person removed from his or her reality, even if its for a few hours. Hence, you have that hypnotic rave music that goes on and on. And for you to really accept the musical assault, you need alcohol and drugs. Otherwise you will just be a moron allowing your hearing to prematurely deteriorate without a cause. But with alcohol and drugs, you are on a totally different planet!
Secondly, I was disappointed. There is nothing cool about Zouk, except the way they have their restrooms divided for two groups of people: Macintosh users and Windows users. Or at least that's what I think the M and W stand for.
Other than that, there is absolutely nothing cool about the place. No cool decor. No fancy lighting or interior. Nothing made me go "Wow, that's cool!" Either the Singaporean owners think that the Zouk name is enough to draw the crowd or Malaysian clubbers are too dumb to know any better. I have a feeling its both.
Frankly, I don't see what's the big deal with Zouk. Inside, it looks like any other old club from the early 90s to me. Dark, nicotine-fortified smoke hanging in the air, that one old uncle who dances like he has a hair brush wedged up his ass, and a room filled mostly with shiny people with no money trying to act cool. And of course, I am quite sure I am impotent with all that exposure to black light. My God man! Black light? Are we still in the 80s?
Anyway, now I can say I've been to Zouk. The only excuse I have is that I had to suspend logic and became stupid. (There's this girl, see?)