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    Tuesday, July 27, 2004

    I love TPC eggs and I am proud to support a business from my hometown, Melaka. It is the original "lower cholesterol egg with no harmful residues." While the normal egg has 230 mg of cholesterol, your TPC egg has 40-70% less cholesterol. Thus reducing the probability of a heart attack by 40-70%. If you need more convincing, see how you can hold your TPC egg yolk like a nut sack, or perhaps, a breast complete with the nipple.


    Thursday, July 22, 2004

    Q: Hey...how have you been?

    A: I am going to bed tonight and wake up when I want to wake up! I've not had a decent night's sleep since Sunday since they announced the first set of three finalists for Malaysian Idol. I started recording Tuesday and only got notice of the songs on Monday...THE DAY BEFORE. And we are talking about THREE songs. So I had to prepare the music for three songs in less than 24 hours. Thankfully, one of the songs is "Pernah" which meant I didn't have to learn the song. But it also means I will be producing this song for the third flippin' time in the past two years by three different singers!

    But tonight, I shall sleep and sleep I shall.

    Oh yeah. Don't pee against the wind.

    Saturday, July 10, 2004

    I recorded Ning Baizura today. She is such a nice cool chick. Nothing like what the media has made her out to be. And she is hot too! I wish I took pictures. Sometimes I wish I could just be a fan.

    No wait. I take that back. I make more money this way.

    I want to talk about something very special to me. Perhaps, misunderstood and unappreciated. I am talking about the most successful German pop duo, Modern talking.

    I managed to get my paws on Modern Talking's The Final Album: The Ultimate VCD. Yes, audio AND video all in a convenient package of two compact discs.

    One look at the track listing and I was surprised that I know so many of their songs. And man, they had a lot of songs. As with Mariah Carey songs, I somehow know the words. What's up with that?

    But the words of Modern Talking are indeed deep. It has so many levels and every man, woman, and child can learn from their wise words. It teaches us to be dependent on others ("You're My Heart, Your My Soul") but at the same time telling us that we can win if we want ("You Can Win If You Want"). Reminds us to respect members of our family ("Brother Louie") while exploring foreign society and culture ("Cheri Cheri Lady", "Geronimo's Caddilac", "China In Her Eyes", "Atlantis Is Calling" and "Last Exit To Brooklyn"). Of course, it promotes respect for women ("Sexy Sexy Lover") and world peace ("Give Me Peace On Earth").

    Let's not forget the look they had in the 80s that had Liberace accussing Modern Talking of looking too gay.

    God Bless Modern Talking.

    Thursday, July 01, 2004

    Evidently, the greetings I've been getting lately is "Why haven't you updated your blog?". No more "Hi! How ya doin'" or "Hey...wanna fuck?" Just straight to the point: "Why haven't you updated your blog?" or more specifically, "how you never update your blog one?"

    I would, of course, give my standard "busy la" reply when what I really want to say is "Why haven't YOU updated YOUR blog?" or "Where is YOUR blog?"

    But that doesn't mean I do not appreciate the eight people who read and enjoy my blog. It's always nice when people compliment on your blog. But I tell you what is even better than compliments. Here are a few suggestions that you may use to motivate me to update my blog:

    1. You may call and say something like "Hi Audi. I noticed you have not updated your blog. Would it be much of an incentive to you if I transfered RM50 into your Maybank account via Maybank2u.com?" or,

    2. You may call and say somethign like "Hi Audi. I noticed you have not updated your blog. Would it be much of an incentive to you if I came over yrou place and tuned your meat whistle will you update your blog?" *

    I need creative motivations like that. So, when you call to ask if I have updated my blog, by all means, make it interesting.

    * This option is only available to females between 17-35 years old.

    Here is something new I found out at 2.30 in the morning. As a result of being sexually frustrated, I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. I pulled out a cucumber and then I realised I am a guy and had absolutely no use for it other than to eat it.

    I did what I had to do and make cucumber sticks. Well, technically, I did not make cucumber sticks. I cut them into sticks. Then it hit me. Damn! I did not do that cucumber thing that mom used to do, which is to cut of the tip of the cucumber and then rub the tip to the rest of the cucumber until it starts to foam. Otherwise, the cucumber would be bitter. Sorta like having a circumcision go wrong.

    But to my surprised, the cucumber was not bitter. It was like...regular.

    While munching on my cucumber fashioned after little sticks, I thought about the advancements in food technology. No more bitter cucumbers. This is great.

    Now, don't go leaving me comments saying how healthy I am. I had nothing else in the fridge to eat, except if you count that half cube of chicken stock.