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    Monday, September 27, 2004

    I first went wireless when I was severed from my at the umbilical cord. And I haven't looked back since. With this afternoon's purchase of the Panasonic KX-TCD445ML Digital Cordless Answering System, I am now truly wireless at home. never have I been so excited over a low-technology purchase since my Black & Decker 7.2v Dustbuster. No more phone lines running across the living room and hallway. Besides surfing the web while I am on the crapper, I can now chat on the phone too. Bliss.

    If anybody calls, just say I am not at home.

    Tuesday, September 21, 2004

    It is the law. You must make a written request to the authorities should you want to have a child and include details of the person you will be replacing. You will be notified within 2-3 weeks upon your application whether you request has been granted.

    There are now 22 billion people in the world. People of the world has chosen popular communism because they needed to be told what to do. After 15000 years of civilisation, we have found the way to live forever. Doctors figured out how to have the heart beat and the brain grow forever. And cosmetics companies have perfected the anti-aging cream.

    But now, for every new birth, someone has to die. Someone has to be replaced. And that someone has to be a member of your immediate family.

    Tuesday, September 14, 2004

    It makes me wonder why the editor, director, or even the producers of Puteri Gunung Ledang, at some point, did not wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night and say, "Damn. I think the movie is too long!"

    It's a situation where the director has probably fallen in love with his own shots and can't bring it together to cut it out. It's all those long pans of horizons and close-ups of a flower in the rain. You know, the sort of thing you'd see in a YTL Lake Edge Puchong or Sentul West commercial, or "Dances With Wolves". Dude, two words for you: Director's Cut.


    It takes a lot for me to get so restless and want to walk out on a movie. But this one did it for me.

    Whatever the story that needed to be told, could have been done in one hour or 90 minutes tops. But they wanted to go for that epic status and dragged the thing for over two hours.

    I need to get this off my chest in case I die tomorrow.

    The first thing I noticed was that for a new film, it looked like it needed restoration. And secondly, the director's style clearly shows that he brought too much from his TV commercial days to the movie. It was either too fast like a music video or too slow. For instance, the fight scenes. I couldn't get a sense of space and where the characters were. I see them doing things but it has no perspective or depth. Too bad.

    And then all the actors looked too "clean". George Lucas had it right when he dirtied the set of Star Wars to make it look aged and used. This movie desperately needed that treatment.

    Then there's that make up. Was there an oversupply of make up foundation on the set and they had a quota to fulfill?

    It was a good effort. But not good enough. And I hate the fact that I had to pay RM10 and wasted an hour of my life that I will never get back!

    Monday, September 06, 2004

    One thing I noticed about us Malaysians is that we complain a lot. And usually to the wrong people. In other words, we usually complain to the people that don't want to hear it. For instance, if you are upset with the your co-worker, you won't bring up these feelings with the person who is causing you the grief. Instead, you're likely to keep it in and then bring it up over lunch with people you actually like enough to want to have lunch with. What makes you think they want to hear your piddly squawk? Just making conversation, right?

    But boy, do we complain. We whine and complain. No solutions but man...do we know how to complain. And in my case right now, I am complaining about complaining.

    Me: Hey. How are you today?

    Dude #1: Aiyo man. The usual lah. I tell you. I hate my boss. He doesn't know what he is doing...that stupid Chinaman. Can die. He's always changing his mind. One minute he wants to do this, and then the next, he wants to do something else. How can? Where got people work like this one? If everyone just listens to me then we won't have any problems. Anyway...what about you?

    How did we get this way? I suppose it's human nature to want to moan and groan about everything. It's easier to be negative than to be positive. Don't get me wrong. I still want to bitch-slap Julie Andrews back to the hills that are alive with the sound of music. But doesn't it come to a point in time when you just want the other person to shut the hell up? Isn't it enough?

    How much of what we hear in a day is really useful or pleasant? On the flip side, how much of what we say in a day is really useful or are we just complaining like the other person?

    Again, it's not that I just got laid or someone gave me a puppy. No warm fuzzy feelings going on here.

    So, do the world a favour. Stop complaining. If you are in a bad situation and if you have to talk to someone about it, by all means, do it. But say whatever you have to say in three minutes or less. And then please have a solution at the end of that three minutes. If you go on without resolve, then you are complaining. At that point, you should then look for a sharp pointy object. Heat it and rub the object with salt and vinegar. And then stab it into your left eye. Now you can complain.

    Having said all this, I may have the answer as to why we complain so much. I think if we actually did not complain, whine, moan, and groan, we'd have nothing to say.

    Now, go ahead and circulate this in the email. It might actually do some good.

    In my efforts of creating a better Malaysia, consider this before you complain about our country and its leaders. Although I do wish I had "bare-breasted young women, who are supposed to be virgins", dance for me.

    Swazi King Picks 16-year-old Girl as 12th Wife

    MBABANE (AFP) - Swazi King Mswati III, Africa's last absolute monarch, has picked a 16-year-old girl as his new wife, bringing to 12 the number of official spouses, sources in the royal household said.

    A source confirmed a report in the Times newspaper that said the teenager was a Miss Teen Swaziland finalist who took part in the annual reed dance last week when bare-breasted young women, who are supposed to be virgins, dance for the king.

    The source said that the 16-year-old girl underwent blood tests to determine whether she was HIV positive and that she was expected to receive the royal blessing of the queen mother before being unveiled as the king's new bride at the weekend.

    Swaziland has the world's highest per capita rate of HIV infection at 38.8 percent in the kingdom of 1.1 million people, according to UN estimates.

    Friday, September 03, 2004

    Never Hurts To Know

    Loud Music Can Cause Lung Collapse
    Thu Sep 2,10:17 AM ET
    By Amy Norton

    NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Blasting music can be hard on the ears and the neighbors, and now researchers say it can also pack enough punch to collapse a lung.

    Reporting in the medical journal Thorax, they describe the cases of four young men who suffered a lung collapse -- technically called pneumothorax --that appeared to be triggered by loud music. Three of the men were at a concert or club when the pneumothorax occurred, while the fourth was in his car, which was outfitted with a 1,000-watt bass box because he "liked to listen to loud music."

    OMG! What a shocker! There is a journal called THORAX. How excitation!

    Wednesday, September 01, 2004

    Every other month or so, I get a wild hair up my butt and I go grocery shopping. I will load up and go nuts with fresh fruits and vegetables, all kinds of meat products, milk, and Vitagen. My inside of my fridge looks like a promo photo for the fridge's brochure. Give it a week or two, it will still look like that promo photo...only now, someone wiped his ass with that brochure after a severe case of diahrea. (Right now you're thinking, was that necessary?!)

    It's that time of the month and I went grocery shopping. As usual, I ask myself this very question whenever I shop for myself. I've thought of this many times before and am still wondering why hasn't anyone done this.

    A grocery store for single people.

    I live by myself. I am not feeding an army. I do not need 15 bananas to rippen all at once and then feel the pressure to eat all of them and go on a pottasium-high. I just want three bananas just to keep me regular.

    So, why can't we have a store that sells perishables in smaller portions?

    Bread by the slice. Half the orange juice. Half that head of lettuce. Half the bottle of wine. And they won't look at you funny when you ask for three slices of bacon, or ask for one chicken thigh, or three bananas.

    Somebody....please. They can help?