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    Tuesday, November 23, 2004

    I was watching the new DVD edition of "Return Of The Jedi". As with the millions of other young men around the world, I probably had my first intergalactic erection when I saw Princess Leia in the gold bikini. But today, it hit me. While it might work for me, why would Jabba the Hutt be turned on by Princess Leia in a gold bikini? Is a woman in a gold bikini a universal turn-on? And I mean that in a cosmic sense.

    We are talking about inter-species attraction here. I am not even sure how that works. To put it in perspective, it's like me getting turned on by a shaved poodle.

    If anything, I would think Jabba would want to eat her or watch her get squashed by the Rancor (monster..big..ugly...canivore.) But no, he puts her in a gold bikini. What's up with that George?

    My mother gave birth to me on this day 33 years and one day ago.

    I did what I do every year on my birthday. I called my mom to wish her happy birthday since she was the one who actually did the act of birthing. As I always say, she did all the work. I just showed up. Therefore, our mothers deserve the birthday wishes as much as us.

    Anyway, I thanked my mom for allowing me hang out in her uterus for nine months until she felt it was time to squeeze me out of her vagina.

    My sister did this dinner thing for me by inviting a bunch of her friends to my place to break in the couch. Cheryl got me a badly-needed coffee table for the living room which I didn't even noticed until she called to tell me about it. And thanks to my sister, I now have Astro which will only add to my list of things to do.

    Other than that, I got flooded with SMSes which was exactly what I needed! Screw the material things! My friends REALLY know what I want. SMSes for my birthday! I apologise if I did not reply to your SMSes as I was too engrossed savouring this special unique moment.

    Which brings me to my next soapbox topic. Why do people bother with SMS greetings? I had a similar predicament recently during Hari Raya. I have many friends celebrating Hari Raya. I called a few to wish them but some I didn't feel compelled to but on the other hand, felt like I needed to. So, I go into deep thought.

    Say I send this friend an SMS. He receives it, possibly with the other tens of SMSes from other so-called well-wishers. He reads the SMS, perhaps incur the expense of replying with a "thank you", and then deletes the message.

    This person is not going to walk away with a warm fuzzy feeling after reading my SMS. He might think, I am a cheap and lazy bastard who not only thinks he am not good enough for a phone call but I've decided to inflict the inconvenience of an clearing out his phone's inbox of SMSes which will not affect his life one way or another.

    If this person is like me, I am telling you, it's a bloody pain in the ass! And I wonder why I have no friends!?!

    So, I decided not to send SMSes during Hari Raya. Except to Izham. And Firhad. And that other guy.

    Anyway, Happy Birthday Mom!

    Monday, November 22, 2004

    November 25 is Thanksgiving.

    I wonder if our local, erm...how would one politely put it ...fools will count down (four, TREE, two, one) at 11.59 pm on November 24 and celebrate Thanksgiving in Bangsar. Why not? After all, they did the Halloween thing and I doubt if anyone of these "alcoholics-in-progess-American-envy-Man-In-Black-wannabe" know anything about Halloween.

    But if there is an American holiday we'd want to hijack and try to make it relevant in Malaysia, it would think it should be Thanksgiving. Not literally but in spirit. Perhaps the turkey and the Mayflower just isn't cool enough for us.

    Sunday, November 21, 2004

    Why do so many Malaysians say "tree" instead of "tHree"?

    "Tree" is an organic stump of wood with leaves.

    "T-H-ree" is a number between 2 and 4.

    So, when you count, it's ONE, TWO, T-H-REE....and not ONE, TWO, TREE.

    Repeat after me...T-H-ree.

    Tuesday, November 09, 2004

    A great number of my friends have babies now. I am about the only one from my school year who is still sans child. So when I visit with my friends, I would get my fix of that baby smell. Which led me to the conclusion that this "baby smell" that we all like is really the smell of fresh and new human organs. Of course, when I phrase it that way, Jini disagrees. There you have it. Want to know what the smell of new skin, new lungs, new liver, new spleen is like? Smell a baby.

    Speaking of smelling nice...did I mention that Ning Baizura is such a cool person. We recorded another song a few days ago. It was almost a shot-gun production. Everything was a rush. Honestly, I had doubts about the song when I first worked on it but when she opened her mouth to sing it, it sounded a googlezillion times better. The pressure cooker started on Friday and I finished last night at 4 in the a.m. and it works and I love it. Go buy the album.

    Speaking of pressure, I bought THREE melon-type...err..melons two weeks ago. I don't know what I was thinking. A honey dew, a some other kind of dew melon thing, and a watermelon. Apparently, my shopping strategy of buying clothes, that is to buy a few of the same shirt that I like so I don't have to try on too many shirts, do not work with melons. Can you imagine the pressure of having to eat three melons? Which led me to ponder about the watermelon. What happens when you keep a watermelon for a long long time? And I am talking about months. Would the water dry out and you are left with just melon? Plain melon without water. Then would it become a watermelon again if I added water? I digress. Anyway, I ate an entire watermelon today. My entire body system is extremely volatile right now. I have an entire watermelon the size of a newborn baby in my system.

    Speaking of babies...A great number of my friends have babies now. I am about the only one from my school year who is still sans child. So when I visit with my friends, I would get my fix of that baby smell. Which led me to the conclusion that this "baby smell" that we all like is really the smell of fresh and new human organs. Of course, when I phrase it that way, Jini disagrees. There you have it. Want to know what the smell of new skin, new lungs, new liver, new spleen is like? Smell a baby.

    Speaking of smelling nice...did I mention that Ning Baizura is such a cool person. We recorded another song a few days ago. It was almost a shot-gun production. Everything was a rush. Honestly, I had doubts about the song when I first worked on it but when she opened her mouth to sing it, it sounded a googlezillion times better. The pressure cooker started on Friday and I finished last night at 4 in the a.m. and it works and I love it. Go buy the album.

    Speaking of pressure, I bought THREE melon-type...err..melons two weeks ago. I don't know what I was thinking. A honey dew, a some other kind of dew melon thing, and a watermelon. Apparently, my shopping strategy of buying clothes, that is to buy a few of the same shirt that I like so I don't have to try on too many shirts, do not work with melons. Can you imagine the pressure of having to eat three melons? Which led me to ponder about the watermelon. What happens when you keep a watermelon for a long long time? And I am talking about months. Would the water dry out and you are left with just melon? Plain melon without water. Then would it become a watermelon again if I added water? I digress. Anyway, I ate an entire watermelon today. My entire body system is extremely volatile right now. I have an entire watermelon the size of a newborn baby in my system.

    Made you look.

    Friday, November 05, 2004

















    Parking = RM2.50.

    Deep Fried Fish In Soya Sauce = RM60.

    Cashier's Nuts = Priceless. No wait....it's RM3.