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    Saturday, May 28, 2005

    Watch My Thumb!

    I've been to the movies more time in the past two weeks than I had been all last year.

    Let me save you a few bucks with this summary:

    1. Don't watch that forgettable movie with Angelina Jolie and Ethan Hawke. It's so uneventful that I even forgot the name. But that does not change the fact that I want to be reincarnated as Angelina Jolie's bra.

    2. Only watch Troy if someone holds a really big gun to your head or promises to go down on you in the theater.

    3. Only after you've seen Troy (and gotten blown) you watch Van Helsing. This movie is van loud and also van silly. It's not silly entertaining but silly stupid.

    4. Watch Shrek 2. Then watch it again to see what you missed during the first round. Take notes so you can start water-cooler conversations with "Did you get it when..." when you make movie references and try to sound smart when you're really a dork.

    5. Watch The Day After Tomorrow on cheap days. If you can arrange for it, that in-house blowjob might come in handy after all the special effects disaster scenes. Otherwise, bring in a small pair of scissors to trim your nose or pubic hair. That should help keep you awake till the end of the movie.

    Blog In A Can

    I watched "The Day After Tomorrow" just this afternoon. The movie looks great but as expected, the story sucks.

    Haven't gone running this week, all thanks to the wet weather. Cheryl suggest running tomorrow morning at 8 am. That should be interesting. So, I'm going to pump myself with liquids tonight before I go to sleep and then the urge to pee will wake me up. It works for me...and it might work for you.

    I also bought new running shoes for RM350! This is most money I've ever paid for a pair of shoes...or anything that did not contain a microchip or the element of sex.

    I've always wanted to start an all-girl band. I'll call it The Broad Band.

    Cheryl, God bless her, got me running at this 5km trek at Taman Tun. It's a hill. I actually did 5 km. After which I had a brief but very real stroke and I got closer to the feeling of a heart attack than I've ever been before.

    I also sliced the tip of my middle finger while in the elevator. Blood everywhere. Pain. That's when I realised that I will not do well as a spy with national secrets. I am such a big pussy.

    I tried writing a song last night but nothing came out. I have not been spending a lot of time in my home studio. I am convinced that feng shui has something to do with it. There is an affliction in the room some where. You hear me Lillian?

    I also caught the finals to American Idol on 8TV. And then the results show. Just a note that 8TV lied and it was not LIVE from Hollywood because I read the results on the Internet before 8TV aired it at 11 am. It totally ruined it for me.

    I have to write a funny song. I need help.

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