Here's a train wreck.
Sara: Hi. What do you do?
Me: I work at Ikea.
Sara: Wow. Interesting. What do you do there?
Me: I am the person who names all the furniture. We don't use product numbers. Instead we give them names like Mikhail and Pax.
Normally the conversation about my job ends there. But not today.
Sara: How much discount do you get if you buy furniture from Ikea?
Sara: Do you think you can help me buy some furniture?
Me: Err...sorry but I have already maxed out my staff purchase quota.
Sara: Oh. Maybe you have some discount vouchers. I have seen those.
Me: Oh....you mean gift certificates? You actually have to buy those.
Sara: Can you get them for me?
Me: Err...you have to pay for them.
The woman looks at me expressionless.
Me: Wow....you must really love your Ikea furniture.
Sara: Yes. Maybe you can let me know when you have a sale and let me in early.
Me: You know, I actually tried to name a stool Homo. But they wouldn't let me. But I did manage to name a couch Lesebo.
Sara: How much profit margin do they make on the furniture?
Me: I love that new Harry Potter.
Sara: About those gift certificates...you think you can help me get some?
Me: Man...what about that haze. Don't you miss it?
Sara: Where are we on the gift certificates?