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    Wednesday, November 16, 2005

    I visited Bangkok with the kind folks at Fuse. I brought my camera along. Suddenly I felt like an idiot with way too much time on my hands. In other words, I felt like Kenny Sia. So I stopped taking pictures because I did not want to crossover to Loserville living in an apartment on ILoveMyselfTooMuch Avenue. Besides, my other travelling buddies were already blinding me with their incessant flash photography. In this digital age, they could easily send me copy of myself giving the camera a peace sign.

    If there is one thing I’ve learned from being in Bangkok is that one can never have enough of animal meats on sticks. Then there’s their love for pork products. Every corner you turn. Little pieces of pork on sticks. Along with that comes that lovely aroma which Jimmy says is bamboo shoots. Why bamboo shoots? Because when you cook the thing, it produces a smell that will embed itself into your hair and clothes. That’s why. Any other way would be too civilised.

    Just so I get it out of the way, no, I did not go to any sex shows or see any vaginas that can do complex mathematics. Neither did I visit any prostitutes there. I did watch this drag show where I saw the same pair of perfect boobs replicated on four different men. They must have had a bulk discount special at the boob implant centre that day.

    Thais love their king and queen. And I don’t mean that in a gay way. I am talking about the guy with the goofy hair on their currency. They actually throw city-scale parties when it is their birthday. Unfortunately, we missed the queen’s birthday by a hair. But we could see some remnants from the party: Lots a really huge pictures of the queen.

    Then there’s the Royal Temple built by the royal family. A huge beautiful place with amazing temples and a lot of things made from gold. I am guessing that this is the Disneyland for monks around the world. Monks in other countries probably sell raffle tickets to raise money so they can visit the Royal Temple so they can kick back.

    This is also where this really huge golden Buddha reclines. It’s aptly called “The Reclining Buddha” and is anatomically correct, complete with nipples and all.

    It is good to see that the Thai government have their priorities right.

    Other than that, Bangkok feels like a Singapore ten years after being taken over by Malaysians. But having said all that, I like Bangkok. It’s a little crowded. A little dirty. I have suggestions for irrigation which I hope the Thai government would consider. And I don’t understand why Malaysians in Bangkok find it amusing to keep saying “sawadee kap” to other Malaysians. (On that same note, I also don’t get this thing about people going “Let’s go yum cha!”)

    Look ma. No pictures!

    3 comments: said...

    so... we going yum cha this sunday?

    Anonymous said...

    Dude, this is Malaysia, not America. It's ok to go "Let's yum cha!".

    Mr. Bangkok Hotels said...

    Thailand is miracle land for tourists. I like historic temples in Ayuthaya but i didn't has a good chance to go there. Thank you so much for your picture and story blog.