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    Thursday, May 25, 2006

    I wake up today mindful of how I am going to go about my day. I will not listen to the radio or watch TV or read the news or surf the web until 8 pm tonight. Or expose myself to any possible source of news that will tell me who the next American Idol is. (On the matter of self exposure, I am also mindful of not exposing myself to children and horses.)

    Despite my efforts, there are those out there who (unwittingly) want to ruin my day.

    Wednesday, May 24, 2006

    I finally used 1-Drop. I had to plan it way in advance. It can’t be one of those emergency pull-your-pants-down-and-park-your-ass-and-unload sessions since you have to feel it coming. Hold it for a bit. Unscrew the cap of 1-Drop, squeeze one drop of 1-Drop, screw on the cap, then go about your business. When you have to go, the time needed to perform that list of things may seem like an eternity.

    First of all, it is almost impossible to get just ONE drop in. Maybe that’s why it didn’t work for me since I was getting more than one drop of 1-Drop. At least three drops of 1-Drop. Sometimes even four drops of 1-Drop. For when I squeeze that 1-Drop, more than one drop of 1-Drop drops out of the 1-Drop container holding all the drops.

    Once you do get those drops in, you will realise is not all it cracked up to be. It’s not magic. Instead of having funky smelling crap, you get a sweet funky smelling crap. It’s not natural. When you take a crap, it is supposed to smell funky. Best case, it should be neutral. But not sweet smelling. Because when it is sweet smelling, you will walk in and say…

    You: Hey. It smells nice in here. (Breathes in) What’s that smell?
    Me: Oh. I just took a crap and I used 1-Drop. What you are smelling is really my crap being masked by perfume.
    You: I hate you.

    I guess, for that alone, 1-Drop does have some entertainment value. I am just glad I didn’t pay for this.

    Wednesday, May 03, 2006

    Inner beauty comes next.

    Penang - After undergoing 12 cosmetic operations in two years, bank clerk turned model Ma Lieh from Jiang-su province in China now wants to improve on her inner beauty.

    “I want to learn new skills and gain more knowledge to achieve my ambition to be a talk show host,” Ma said here.

    Somebody please stop me.... must stay away from blogger....self-control. Jojo.... Speak no evil...ugh. Help.