Felicia: Are you watching the World Cup finals tonight?
Me: Err..yes I guess. The TV will be on in the background while I work and I will probably give it a look when I hear my neighbours yell out “Goal!”.
Felicia: Which team are you rooting for?
Me: I don’t know.
Felicia: How can you not have a team? It makes it more fun to watch when you are rooting for a team.
Well, Felicia, you are right.
However, I haven’t followed the World Cup much and I have decided which team’s players look cuter in shorts. So I ask the question every person would ask when deciding a team to support: What has that country done for me?
I then proceed to make this list which immediately puts me in the pathetic category of human beings.
French musicians (Deep Forest, Telepopmusik, Nadiya). +5 points
Hot French women. +3 points
Pretentious French culture. -3 points
The French loaf and croissant. +3 points
Making people around the world mispronounce “Jean”. -2 points.
Pierre and Marie Curie, Louis Pasteur. +5 points
NET POINTS: 11 points
Italians who went to New York City to come up with pizza. +5 points
Monica Bellucci. +5 points
Not-so-attractive Italian women. -3 points
Coffeeshops. +3 points
Leonardo da Vinci. +3 points
Italian pasta. +4 points
The Mafia which inspired the Godfather movies and the Sopranos. +2 points
NET POINTS: 19 points
As pathetic as it may be, I am rooting for Italy. Viva Italy.