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    Sunday, March 25, 2007

    Greetings folks! I appreciate and I am very grateful and glad that you like the music I have here and on my imeem page. However, please do not ask me to email you any of these songs to you. It's already questionable that I even have these songs on-line. So, emailing it to you would be pushing it.

    Go buy the CD. If you can't buy the CD for whatever reason, contact the label directly and tell them why you are not buying. Ask me for the contact information.

    It could be for anyone of the following reasons: Too expensive. Or you only want one song and the rest of the songs on the album just suck ass. Or you can't find the CD in stores. I think the label should know these things. And if your email them and they give you a lame-ass response, let me know. Only then I will play pirate and email you the MP3.

    Until then, please don't ask. I hate to be rude but I won't reply your email.

    Thursday, March 22, 2007

    My parents are not young anymore. As obvious as that is, I just came to realise it recently. It is one of those things in life many take for granted. I've always just saw them as the same parents I've had since I was a child. In other words, they are still 35. Now both my parents are old and it is showing. Sometimes I feel sad when I think about it. And I just have this feeling I will regret for a lot of things I did not do with my parents while I had the chance. Eighty seven percent of that would be not spending enough time with them. I regret not spending more time with my grandmother. I regret not being able to visit China with her. But then again, I didn't have the means too. So the grandmother incident is making me realise a lot of the potential missed opportunities I could have with my parents. Perhaps that is what grandparents are for: To make us realise these things. It's a cycle. All this naturally leads me to question my own mortality. Yes! I have now successfully managed to depress myself. It must be the time of day and the music I am listening to and working on.

    Listen to my "Chicken Love" again.

    Saturday, March 17, 2007

    I am sure I am not the only one who thinks this but I hate MySpace. It's ugly. It's crippled. It's slow. It's stupid. So, MySpace can kiss my ass. I have moved my music profile and MUSIC blog to imeem where it is a lot more flexible for music people. (My regular blog is still here!) At imeem, you can upload more than four songs! Nuff said!

    http://audimok.imeem.com

    Now if only someone could tell me how to pronounce it the right way.

    Monday, March 12, 2007

    I was lighting this candle. I leaned forward and my hair fell into the flame and my hair...a-blazin'. Took out part of my eyebrows too. Then there's that funky smell of burning hair. And the eyelids sticking together because the melted eyebrows turned into this weird sticky paste.

    At least now when my future kids ask me, "Dad, did you have set your eyebrows on fire?", I can confidently give a resounding "Yes!" Followed by "Who's your daddy?"

    Saturday, March 10, 2007

    It doesn't matter who you are, how cool or how much money you have. You could be a supermodel but 87.2% of effective nose-picking happens in the car when the driver is alone with 68% of auto-nose-picking happening while waiting at traffic lights. You can tell when the person winds down the car window, sticks their fingers out and starts flicking their fingers to get the snot off. It's a thing of beauty.

    Friday, March 09, 2007

    Just yesterday morning, I was holding on to my morning beverage of green tea. Then I felt this sensation on my fingers. I realised that my finger was in very hot water. The strange thing was that it took me at least two seconds to register: Finger. Hot water. Pain. Put mug down. Scream like a girl.

    So now I got a funky skin displacement thing on my thumb. Apparently weird liquid will fill up the loose skin and I will have to pop it to get the juices out. What a treat for me!

    Just the other day, while have a meal with some friends and their family, this father said to his son, "Don’t drink when you are eating. You get full faster." I’ve heard that before, especially when I was a kid at the dinner table with adults. But isn’t it the point?

    Perhaps if you eat and drink, you’d get full sooner but you are not really full of food but full of water (?) which means you will get hungry later. So, it is really a faux full. Maybe I’d buy that argument. But in this situation, the guy who dispensed this info-nugget didn’t take it that way. He didn’t drink just so he could eat more. So the kid didn’t drink. He looked parched. But I am sure he will be full for awhile. Probably get fat too. Needless to say, these people are Chinese China.

    I think some people out there might think I am one of those people who reverse discriminate whenever I piss on Chinese people. It could not be further from the truth. I am very proud that I am Chinese. Of all the races in the world, I am glad to be Chinese. (Although I wish I were Jedi or at least got a discount when I buy a house or I didn’t have to compete for five seats at a local university with 60 trillion other brainiacs from my own race.) Wa-hey! Yet another rare social and political rant. Moving on up.

    But to paraphrase Chris Rock, there are people who are Chinese AND there are people who are China. It is a social occurrence in all races, not just with the Chinese. You can tell when a person is China when they have the S problem. The S can mean two things. If I want to be majorly lame and say they have an S problem, it could mean they have an ass problem meaning that Chinese people have no ass. Which is not necessarily an exaggeration.

    But the S problem I have in mind is the China’s inopportune use or lack of the S. We get “Starbuck” instead of "Starbucks". Softwares. McDonald. Furnitures. Microsoft Window. Desperate Housewife.

    And then there’s the totally unrelated yet related "onlai" as in "I want to go onlai the internet."

    What up with that China?

    (Before you leave a witty comment, I wanted to add "equipment" to the list but thought it was too predictable after "furnitures".)

    Saturday, March 03, 2007

    I am still trying very hard to get used to the taste of cardboard oat. So I got this 3-in-1 oat mix by Quaker, maker of fine oat products. Sadly, it still tastes like cardboard; albeit fine cardboard. I look forward to the day I can enjoy a bowl of oatmeal without it being a test of my gag reflex.

    Just yesterday, I reluctantly went to a Chinese New Year dinner thing. Reluctant because I didn't know the host but her person who invited me has..... Let's just say I had to go and so I went. It was a new experience for me for several reasons. First, it was the home of a very rich Chinaman Chinese businessman. Second, he lives in Cheras. Rich Chinese businessman who lives in Cheras. It's almost too good to pass on an experience of witnessing a display of wealth and good taste.

    As expected, big-ass house. Maybe it's a mansion. I am not sure when "big house" crosses the line and becomes "mansion". Whatever it was, it is huge. Lots of wall-to-wall marble action. Swimming pool. Home theatre. Marble. I think it has nine bathrooms. Marble. It has a separate temperature-controlled room for the altar. Religious folks they are. Did I mention the marble?

    Then there's the excess of everything except lawn space. And the three roast whole pigs complete with the head. And the volume of their voices. And then there's the trash can that has a sign that says "TIN ONLY" but it is filled with aluminum cans.

    I see the person who invited me reach into a trash bag and pick out two beer cans and put them in the "TIN ONLY" bin.

    Me: Wow Cindy. I am impressed that you care for the environment. You recycle. You are changing my impression of Chinese people that we do not care about anything except for money.
    Cindy: Environment? What environment? Each tin I can get 5 sen! Who dowan?

    For a moment there, I thought I lost touch with my Chinese-kind. But all is well.