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    Friday, March 09, 2007

    Just yesterday morning, I was holding on to my morning beverage of green tea. Then I felt this sensation on my fingers. I realised that my finger was in very hot water. The strange thing was that it took me at least two seconds to register: Finger. Hot water. Pain. Put mug down. Scream like a girl.

    So now I got a funky skin displacement thing on my thumb. Apparently weird liquid will fill up the loose skin and I will have to pop it to get the juices out. What a treat for me!

    Just the other day, while have a meal with some friends and their family, this father said to his son, "Don’t drink when you are eating. You get full faster." I’ve heard that before, especially when I was a kid at the dinner table with adults. But isn’t it the point?

    Perhaps if you eat and drink, you’d get full sooner but you are not really full of food but full of water (?) which means you will get hungry later. So, it is really a faux full. Maybe I’d buy that argument. But in this situation, the guy who dispensed this info-nugget didn’t take it that way. He didn’t drink just so he could eat more. So the kid didn’t drink. He looked parched. But I am sure he will be full for awhile. Probably get fat too. Needless to say, these people are Chinese China.

    I think some people out there might think I am one of those people who reverse discriminate whenever I piss on Chinese people. It could not be further from the truth. I am very proud that I am Chinese. Of all the races in the world, I am glad to be Chinese. (Although I wish I were Jedi or at least got a discount when I buy a house or I didn’t have to compete for five seats at a local university with 60 trillion other brainiacs from my own race.) Wa-hey! Yet another rare social and political rant. Moving on up.

    But to paraphrase Chris Rock, there are people who are Chinese AND there are people who are China. It is a social occurrence in all races, not just with the Chinese. You can tell when a person is China when they have the S problem. The S can mean two things. If I want to be majorly lame and say they have an S problem, it could mean they have an ass problem meaning that Chinese people have no ass. Which is not necessarily an exaggeration.

    But the S problem I have in mind is the China’s inopportune use or lack of the S. We get “Starbuck” instead of "Starbucks". Softwares. McDonald. Furnitures. Microsoft Window. Desperate Housewife.

    And then there’s the totally unrelated yet related "onlai" as in "I want to go onlai the internet."

    What up with that China?

    (Before you leave a witty comment, I wanted to add "equipment" to the list but thought it was too predictable after "furnitures".)

    1 comment:

    Mohariz Yaakup said...

    U really scream like a girl? hahahhahahah