Today I pay for my parking at Amcorp Mall in PJ and I see this mission statement for the parking operator stuck onto the window of the cashier's booth. Don't remember what the front half was but it ends with "to dazzle the customer."
So before I hand my cash over to the lady...
Me: Since you are supposed to dazzle me, how about you give me free parking?"
Cashier: Aaah. Cannot la.
Me: But you are supposed to dazzle me. It says that right there.
Cashier: Aaah. That one ah? Just say only. Hehe. Pay three ringgit.
Back in the day when I was working at this IT company, the Managing Director got me write a mission statement for the company. Why? Because I was about the only guy in the company who could string a whole sentence in English. And so I did. I don't remember what I wrote but it was probably something that had words like "delight", "customer satisfaction", "excellent", "value" or "global."
But the real and unspoken mission of the company (and by "company," I mean the chinaman boss) is to screw the employees and make a lot of money for the himself first, THEN for the company. The whole mission/vision statement thing is really for show so they can look "international."
Just to see how pointless and vague mission statements are, could you please submit your company's mission statement in the comment section of this post. The one that irks/tickles/annoys/amuses me the most, will have the manager of the company get a phone call from me for my highly constructive feedback.